Chapter 61 - Proof I Was Still Here

In the depths of my most fragile state, when I felt like I was unraveling, my world took an unexpected artistic turn. It was during what I can only describe as my "2D from Gorillaz" phase, a surreal time when reality felt as fragmented and otherworldly as the band's music videos. I immersed myself in their universe—not just listening, but living, breathing, and, somehow, creating within it.

It started small, just scribbles and ideas, until it became something more. I began crafting a 40,000-word story, one that mirrored the spiralling chaos and raw vulnerability inside me. It wasn’t for adults—far from it. It was written for children, as if my subconscious was desperate to simplify my struggles into something pure and digestible, something that even I could make sense of. At the time, I thought it was probably terrible—so raw, so unfiltered—but it flowed out of me like it needed to exist.

That wasn’t enough. Words turned into images, as I fired up Photoshop and started creating. Inspired by Gorillaz's unique, animated universe, I decided to weave myself directly into their world. I wasn’t just a fan anymore—I was part of it. I took their iconic 2D art and added a layer of 3D. My layer. My essence. My messy reality blended into their meticulously constructed one. The juxtaposition was hauntingly beautiful, at least to me.

The act of crafting those images felt like holding up a mirror, one that was more forgiving than my own reflection. I saw the me I wanted to be—a version that survived, thrived, even found humour in their pain. The characters didn’t just stare back at me; they understood. That world became my sanctuary, where my struggles weren’t just background noise—they were the story itself.

When it was all done, I couldn’t even bear to look at what I’d made. The story, the images—they felt like time capsules, a snapshot of a part of me I wasn’t ready to face. But somewhere, deep down, I knew they weren’t just remnants of my pain; they were proof that even at my worst, I still created, still tried. They were proof that I was still here.

Maybe one day I’ll open those files again, read the words, and really see the art. Not as the remnants of someone unraveling but as the foundation of someone piecing themselves back together.

Here’s a small excerpt from the story—written in full 2D style, raw and ridiculous and very much me at the time.  “Guys guys guys guys guys I don’t know where to start really. It’s Stuart here, but you all know me as 2D from everyone’s favourite superstar band Gorillaz. My surname is Pot. I have touched a little bit of the old devil’s lettuce to say the least. I’d almost say I’m a snail, so I really find this hilarious. My mum not so much. She’s always worrying about me like mums do. My surname was originally Tusspot, but we changed that because... well.. I mean to be fair I am also a bit of a tosspot at times too and I give people plenty of reasons to make that joke. This got shortened to Stu-pot which was quite unfortunate because it sounds like ‘stupid’ from a distance. I’m the skinny blue one in the band if you don’t know. Seriously, I need to let you all know some really mad things... you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through! I was chatting with Noodle earlier and she said, “how can the world know what you think when you send them all to sleep with your beautiful voice when you’re singing”. She’s got a point; clever cookie that one. Anyway, I had all these weird epiphanies and stuff over 10 years ago when I was 30. I mean, I know I’m just meant to be an innocent singer who is just going ‘la la la la la’ all the time, but a lot does actually go on in this little head of mine. Sure there’s a lot of rhymes in there, and I dig those out for you guys, but I’m not a ‘blank sheet of paper’ like some jumped up prick was saying in the Youtube comments. I’m more of a piece of paper with loads of crayons all over it in quite a nice design, actually. Epiphanies are those things like, you know when you go to the shops and you’ve like got loads of stuff to get.. and you’re there with your basket and it’s a bit heavy and everyone’s giving you the evils cos you’re getting in their way... and then you realise your bag for life is at home once again. That’s an epiphany! Or another example.. you know when you’re like going to school and your teacher asks you a question and you realise that because you didn’t even bother to look in the book thing that he gave you the week before because you’ve been too busy on Call of Duty Zombies.. you look really silly don’t you. That’s sort of like the results of having an epiphany, and it probably ended up with you staining your pants for a least a few seconds while you looked like a complete idiot in-front of all your friends. So what was my epiphany?? Well.. ok this is going to sound really crazy yeah, but you have to believe me. I Stuart Potts, son of David and Rachel Potts swear on both of my parent’s lives that I am not lying to you. I just literally can’t. That’s one of the epiphanies actually.. I’ve had many. Well, I can if I really want to, but because I wouldn’t hurt a stick insect it’s sort of OK because I never have any bad intentions. Often it’s because I’m embarrassed about something and trying to hide it to keep a little bit of dignity! The main one though was that I don’t get all this evolving from monkeys stuff that they teach you in school. I keep asking everyone, if we evolved from monkeys how are there still monkeys? Were some of them like anti-evolving or something? Monkey Lives Matter protests? And then I’m like what’s the deal with all the different races of people? Black, white.. how do monkeys become white or black? The weather? I know I’m not super duper clever like some professor or something, but it just doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, they keep calling me 2D but I’m actually 3D when I look through my eyes. How is that possible? And the rest of the world is 3D so how can I be flat as a pancake when the media puts out our videos? They’ve all been in on it from the start I swear, it’s some huge conspiracy against me! Every time I’m there, waiting for the latest video to come out... I mean last time we literally had to fly to space.. I’ve put so much effort in. But I’m there watching the countdown tick down on Youtube like some potential bomb explosion, and each time it’s exactly the same. I swear, I just don’t look like that. I’m a real being, here with you guys.. why do they keep doing this???? They are trying to turn me into a cartoon!”

Maybe one day I’ll open those files—and this time, I’ll be ready.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Chapter 10 - Menage: A Story of Love, Loss, and Chosen Family

Growing up in a ménage à trois wasn’t just some outlandish experience; it was the foundation of my worldview. I didn’t see it as unusual. It was my norm, my reality. My mother’s love was abundant and multi-faceted, and her partners were as much a part of our family as anyone. There was no jealousy, no animosity, no hidden resentments. Just an open space of care and understanding. To me, it seemed like the perfect kind of family.

But when my non-biological father, the one who was the more traditional figure in my life, asked her to make a choice, it was like watching the house of cards fall. And when she chose him, it was a kind of heartbreaking affirmation that the world outside didn’t understand, or maybe even accept, the way we had lived.

I was 17 at the time—old enough to understand the emotional gravity of the situation but still young enough to feel betrayed by the change. In a way, my mom’s decision represented the same pull the world outside had over me: the world was dictating what was acceptable, and now I had to learn how to adjust to that.

Chapter 9 - Luck child

When I was young, someone once called me a “luck child.” I didn’t understand it at the time, and to be honest, I’m not sure I still fully do. It was one of those phrases that just stuck with me, like a little puzzle that I couldn’t quite solve. I often wondered if it was a compliment or something else entirely, but I couldn’t shake it.

As I grew older, the phrase kept circling in my mind, a strange kind of whisper that never quite faded. There were times when I felt like the universe had it out for me, but then there were these odd moments—random moments—where everything just fell into place. It wasn’t like I was living a charmed life or anything. There were struggles, plenty of them. But even in the midst of hardship, I seemed to find myself in situations that felt... well, a little too perfect.

Chapter 8 - A Sick Nod from the Universe

Music has always been the soundtrack to my life. From the moment I first pressed play on a cassette player, it was like opening a door to a whole new dimension. Growing up, Nirvana was the band for me—a raw, unapologetic voice that spoke to the angsty teenager I was. So, when my parents surprised me with tickets to see Nirvana on their upcoming April 12th show in Cardiff, I was ecstatic. I remember jumping around the room, disbelief and excitement colliding in a way only a teenager can feel.

But then, life, in its cruel and ironic way, decided to intervene. On my birthday—just days before the concert—I woke up to the news that Kurt Cobain took his own life. The tickets, once a symbol of my teenage dreams, became a bitter reminder of his tragic end. What were the odds? My birthday wasn’t just ruined; it felt tainted.

I chalked it up to an eerie coincidence. Until it happened again.

Chapter 7 - A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue

At the time, Duke Nukem 3D was the game, a chaotic, over-the-top playground of action and humour. But for me, playing wasn’t enough—I wanted to create.

One day, the idea struck me: what if I turned my school into a map for Duke Nukem? I’ll admit, it was a bold and slightly mischievous idea, but the thought of navigating those familiar halls with explosions and alien mayhem was too tempting to pass up.

So, I set to work. Piece by piece, I painstakingly recreated the corridors, classrooms, and assembly halls of Brynteg Avenue with every detail I could remember. It wasn’t just a map—it was an immersive experience, a twisted reimagining of school life that turned ordinary routines into an action-packed nightmare. Hence, A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue was born.

Chapter 6 - Hostile Hits the Halls

Before I knew it, Hostile Magazine was more than just a personal project. It became something bigger—a product. I started distributing copies around school, and before long, it wasn’t just my classmates reading it. I managed to sell advertising space to local businesses, earning a bit of cash in the process.

Looking back, it might have been my most lucrative venture to date, especially considering how naturally it all came together. I wasn’t just creating anymore—I was running a business, even if I didn’t fully realise it at the time.

One of my proudest moments was designing full-colour posters to promote the magazine. They featured a bold image of a gun and some edgy, provocative slogan. At the time, I thought it was clever—half-witty, half-menacing, exactly the kind of provocation Hostile was built on. But in hindsight, it felt careless.

Chapter 5 - Hostile Beginnings

By the time I was 15, everything changed—I had a computer. No more typewriters or scavenging old magazines for pictures. With a keyboard and the infinite possibilities of digital design at my fingertips, I was unstoppable.

That’s when I founded Hostile Magazine. The name wasn’t just a catchy title—it was a declaration of who I was at the time. I was hostile to the world around me, to the endless doubt and disbelief I’d faced growing up. Most of all, I was still furious that no one seemed to believe in aliens yet.

Hostile was my rebellion. It wasn’t just about aliens, though they made frequent appearances in my articles and artwork. It was a place where I could channel my anger, my creativity, and my growing discontent with a world that felt so small-minded.

Chapter 4 - God Mode Philosophy

When I was 15, I discovered something that would blow my creative obsession wide open: Quake. It wasn’t just a game; it was a canvas for chaos, and I had a paintbrush made of code.

I started messing around with the game, diving into its files and hacking it to bits. Before long, I’d customised everything—the characters, the levels, even the dialogue. My friends and I turned death matches into full-blown comedy routines, battling against avatars we’d created to represent ourselves, complete with all our ridiculous trademark sayings.

Imagine a grim, post-apocalyptic battlefield echoing with smack talk like, “Oi, pass me the ketchup!” or “You’re going down faster than last night’s curry!” It was absolutely hilarious. Every frag was met with roaring laughter, not just because someone lost but because the game would scream out some absurd catchphrase we’d forgotten we’d even programmed.

Chapter 3 - Beyond Addicted

I was hooked. The day after The Brackla Tattler launched, I decided I couldn’t stop there. Why wait for a competition when I could make my own newspaper? I got straight to work, fuelled by the rush of creating something from nothing.

This time, the front-page story was even bigger—or at least, it felt that way to me: “Riot at Strangeways Prison!” I was 11 years old, covering prison riots like a seasoned journalist.

Back then, I didn’t even have a computer. I was using my mum’s old typewriter for the text—each clack of the keys a declaration of my ambition. For the visuals, I raided stacks of old magazines, cutting out pictures and headlines to make elaborate collages. My bedroom floor became a sea of scraps, glue sticks, and ink-stained fingers.

I was beyond addicted. There was something magical about piecing it all together, watching a blank page transform into a story people could hold, read, and react to. The process consumed me in the best way.

Chapter 2 - Breaking News

By the time I was 11, I was part of a global competition to create a school newspaper. And thus, The Brackla Tattler was born—a journalistic masterpiece (or so we thought) with a name that suggested the kind of scandal and intrigue we were determined to uncover.

The inaugural issue had a front-page story so wild it could’ve been straight out of a crime thriller. The headline? “Body Parts Found in Bags Across City!”

It was gruesome, sensational, and absolutely perfect for the tone we were going for—true crime meets small-town gossip. I still remember writing it, trying to balance shock value with just enough professionalism to impress the judges.

Even though we were just kids with big dreams and bigger imaginations, that story gave The Brackla Tattler its identity. We weren’t afraid to tackle the dark stuff, even if we barely understood it ourselves.

Chapter 1 - The Alien Among Us

When I first woke up, I was in Bridgend, South Wales—a quiet, unassuming place where nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen. But even as a kid, I was obsessed with two things: aliens and making magazines.

The alien obsession stemmed from my first truly traumatising memory. I was walking home from school one day with a friend, chatting about whatever kids chat about, when they casually dropped a bombshell: "Aliens are already on Earth, hiding in human bodies."

I swear on my life, I saw one shortly after that. I can still picture it—something inhuman beneath a very human façade. My stomach turned, my heart raced, and from that moment, the world didn’t feel safe anymore. I was terrified.

For months, I couldn’t sleep. Every shadow was suspicious, every sound proof of some otherworldly presence. But when I tried to tell people, nobody believed me. My classmates thought I was crazy. The more I insisted, the harder they laughed. Even my parents decided it was all in my head.

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