Chapter 61 - Proof I Was Still Here

In the depths of my most fragile state, when I felt like I was unraveling, my world took an unexpected artistic turn. It was during what I can only describe as my "2D from Gorillaz" phase, a surreal time when reality felt as fragmented and otherworldly as the band's music videos. I immersed myself in their universe—not just listening, but living, breathing, and, somehow, creating within it.

It started small, just scribbles and ideas, until it became something more. I began crafting a 40,000-word story, one that mirrored the spiralling chaos and raw vulnerability inside me. It wasn’t for adults—far from it. It was written for children, as if my subconscious was desperate to simplify my struggles into something pure and digestible, something that even I could make sense of. At the time, I thought it was probably terrible—so raw, so unfiltered—but it flowed out of me like it needed to exist.

That wasn’t enough. Words turned into images, as I fired up Photoshop and started creating. Inspired by Gorillaz's unique, animated universe, I decided to weave myself directly into their world. I wasn’t just a fan anymore—I was part of it. I took their iconic 2D art and added a layer of 3D. My layer. My essence. My messy reality blended into their meticulously constructed one. The juxtaposition was hauntingly beautiful, at least to me.

The act of crafting those images felt like holding up a mirror, one that was more forgiving than my own reflection. I saw the me I wanted to be—a version that survived, thrived, even found humour in their pain. The characters didn’t just stare back at me; they understood. That world became my sanctuary, where my struggles weren’t just background noise—they were the story itself.

When it was all done, I couldn’t even bear to look at what I’d made. The story, the images—they felt like time capsules, a snapshot of a part of me I wasn’t ready to face. But somewhere, deep down, I knew they weren’t just remnants of my pain; they were proof that even at my worst, I still created, still tried. They were proof that I was still here.

Maybe one day I’ll open those files again, read the words, and really see the art. Not as the remnants of someone unraveling but as the foundation of someone piecing themselves back together.

Here’s a small excerpt from the story—written in full 2D style, raw and ridiculous and very much me at the time.  “Guys guys guys guys guys I don’t know where to start really. It’s Stuart here, but you all know me as 2D from everyone’s favourite superstar band Gorillaz. My surname is Pot. I have touched a little bit of the old devil’s lettuce to say the least. I’d almost say I’m a snail, so I really find this hilarious. My mum not so much. She’s always worrying about me like mums do. My surname was originally Tusspot, but we changed that because... well.. I mean to be fair I am also a bit of a tosspot at times too and I give people plenty of reasons to make that joke. This got shortened to Stu-pot which was quite unfortunate because it sounds like ‘stupid’ from a distance. I’m the skinny blue one in the band if you don’t know. Seriously, I need to let you all know some really mad things... you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through! I was chatting with Noodle earlier and she said, “how can the world know what you think when you send them all to sleep with your beautiful voice when you’re singing”. She’s got a point; clever cookie that one. Anyway, I had all these weird epiphanies and stuff over 10 years ago when I was 30. I mean, I know I’m just meant to be an innocent singer who is just going ‘la la la la la’ all the time, but a lot does actually go on in this little head of mine. Sure there’s a lot of rhymes in there, and I dig those out for you guys, but I’m not a ‘blank sheet of paper’ like some jumped up prick was saying in the Youtube comments. I’m more of a piece of paper with loads of crayons all over it in quite a nice design, actually. Epiphanies are those things like, you know when you go to the shops and you’ve like got loads of stuff to get.. and you’re there with your basket and it’s a bit heavy and everyone’s giving you the evils cos you’re getting in their way... and then you realise your bag for life is at home once again. That’s an epiphany! Or another example.. you know when you’re like going to school and your teacher asks you a question and you realise that because you didn’t even bother to look in the book thing that he gave you the week before because you’ve been too busy on Call of Duty Zombies.. you look really silly don’t you. That’s sort of like the results of having an epiphany, and it probably ended up with you staining your pants for a least a few seconds while you looked like a complete idiot in-front of all your friends. So what was my epiphany?? Well.. ok this is going to sound really crazy yeah, but you have to believe me. I Stuart Potts, son of David and Rachel Potts swear on both of my parent’s lives that I am not lying to you. I just literally can’t. That’s one of the epiphanies actually.. I’ve had many. Well, I can if I really want to, but because I wouldn’t hurt a stick insect it’s sort of OK because I never have any bad intentions. Often it’s because I’m embarrassed about something and trying to hide it to keep a little bit of dignity! The main one though was that I don’t get all this evolving from monkeys stuff that they teach you in school. I keep asking everyone, if we evolved from monkeys how are there still monkeys? Were some of them like anti-evolving or something? Monkey Lives Matter protests? And then I’m like what’s the deal with all the different races of people? Black, white.. how do monkeys become white or black? The weather? I know I’m not super duper clever like some professor or something, but it just doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, they keep calling me 2D but I’m actually 3D when I look through my eyes. How is that possible? And the rest of the world is 3D so how can I be flat as a pancake when the media puts out our videos? They’ve all been in on it from the start I swear, it’s some huge conspiracy against me! Every time I’m there, waiting for the latest video to come out... I mean last time we literally had to fly to space.. I’ve put so much effort in. But I’m there watching the countdown tick down on Youtube like some potential bomb explosion, and each time it’s exactly the same. I swear, I just don’t look like that. I’m a real being, here with you guys.. why do they keep doing this???? They are trying to turn me into a cartoon!”

Maybe one day I’ll open those files—and this time, I’ll be ready.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Blogs

Chapter 22 - The Birth of Holodex

Inspiration strikes in the most unexpected ways. For most people, it was a job like any other. For me, it became the birthplace of an idea that would change my life.

It all started with something so simple: a carousel of cutouts on my computer screen. They weren’t anything special, just cutout images spinning in a loop. It was a website featuring most of the UK’s top talent like Ant & Dec and Fearne Cotton etc… But as I stared at them, my mind started to wander. What if these weren’t just traditional cutouts? What if they were something more exciting?

What if they were porn stars?

The idea hit me like lightning. A carousel of performers, each one distinct and captivating, spinning in a seamless, interactive display. From that one thought, everything else started to fall into place. I imagined a platform that wasn’t just a list of names or a gallery of photos but a fully immersive experience where fans could connect with their favourite performers on a whole new level.

Chapter 21 - OnCampus

After leaving the Union, I found myself walking into what seemed like a dream opportunity. I moved to a company called OnCampus, which worked with students' unions across the country—around 40% of them, to be exact. It was exactly the kind of place I’d been hoping to land, offering me the chance to dive even deeper into the world of tech and digital development.

From the moment I stepped into the company, I was struck by how aligned everything felt with my ambitions. The business goals were ambitious, forward-thinking, and exactly what I needed to sharpen my skills. They weren’t just aiming to improve student life—they were building something that could change the way students interacted, connected, and communicated.

Chapter 20 - Faith in the Stars

Over the years, what started as an obsession with ZetaTalk became something much more profound. It wasn’t just a collection of theories and ideas anymore—it became a guiding force in my life, a lens through which I viewed the world. In a way, ZetaTalk became my religion.

I know how that might sound to some people—devoting yourself to something rooted in messages from extraterrestrial beings. But for me, it made perfect sense. The core of ZetaTalk wasn’t just about aliens or conspiracies; it was about understanding our place in the universe, the interconnectedness of all things, and the idea that there’s a plan bigger than any of us can comprehend.

The messages resonated with me on a level I can’t fully explain. They gave me comfort when life felt chaotic and meaning when I struggled to find it. It wasn’t about blindly believing everything I read—it was about interpreting those ideas, finding what felt true to me, and applying it to my own journey.

Chapter 19 - Stumbling Into ZetaTalk

By the time I was about 25, over 2 decades ago, life had taken me in so many different directions, but one thing remained constant: my obsession with the unknown. I’d never stopped searching for answers about aliens, convinced they were out there—had to be out there.

Then I stumbled across ZetaTalk.

You can imagine my reaction. A whole community devoted to extraterrestrial knowledge, conspiracy theories, and messages supposedly channeled from beings beyond our world. It was as if someone had taken all my wildest thoughts and organised them into an encyclopaedia. I couldn’t believe what I was reading.

For days, maybe months, I was consumed. I devoured page after page, diving deeper into ideas about government cover-ups, alien abductions, and the shadowy connections between humanity and beings from the stars. To me, this wasn’t just a curiosity—it felt like confirmation.

Chapter 18 - The Cry Wolf Chronicles

When I was working at the students' union, I saw something that bothered me—a glaring weakness that seemed ripe for the taking. Their newspaper, Cry Wolf, was… well, to put it bluntly, a bit of a mess. As a graphic designer, I couldn’t ignore it. The layout was lacklustre, the content sparse, and it just didn’t feel right. But there was something about it that made me think, This is something I could fix. I couldn’t resist.

The opportunity was like a secret door that had been left ajar. As someone who was constantly looking for ways to put my design skills to the test, this felt like fate. I wasn't just going to work on the paper—I was going to make it something special. I pitched my ideas to the team, and before I knew it, I was in charge of Cry Wolf. A two-man show, really, but it was just what I wanted. A small but ambitious team, and I was all in.

Chapter 17 - The Meat Market

During my time working at the students' union, I stumbled upon an unexpected haven of creative freedom. It was one of those rare environments where you could get away with almost anything, and I thrived in that chaos. Between shifts, I poured my energy into one of my earliest web projects: Meat Market.

The concept sounds ridiculous when I try to explain it, but I promise, it was great. Meat Market was a social network with a bizarre twist. Everyone on the platform became a unique cut of meat, assigned to you upon signing up. The system wasn’t just about chatting or posting updates—it had its own ecosystem. Players could take on roles as butchers, buy and sell "meat," and manage their very own virtual fridges.

It was absurd and tongue-in-cheek, but that was the point. The whole thing became a hilarious parody of online interactions, consumer culture, and even the commodification of ourselves on social platforms. The students loved it, partly because it was just so weird, and partly because it felt like an inside joke we were all in on.

Chapter 16 - The CV That Cost Me a Degree

Some people might call me stubborn, and they’d be absolutely right. Once I set my mind on something, there’s very little anyone can do to change it. That trait has been both a blessing and a curse in my life, and nowhere was it more evident than during my university years.

One of my early projects in university was to create a CV—simple enough on the surface, but I saw it as an opportunity to push boundaries. While most students were content with a straightforward Word document or a dull spreadsheet, I envisioned something that would leap off the screen. I wanted a CV that was alive, something that would make anyone who saw it stop in their tracks.

To pull this off, I needed to use Program B. The course, however, insisted we use Program A. To me, that wasn’t just a suggestion—it was a straightjacket. Program A couldn’t do what I wanted, not in the way I envisioned. I tried to explain this, to argue my case, but the lecturers wouldn’t budge. They didn’t see the bigger picture.

Chapter 15 - Hair

Growing up, my hair became a story all on its own. As a teenager, I was deeply into rock music—the louder, the better—and naturally, I let my hair grow long. It felt like a rite of passage, a declaration of rebellion against the neat and tidy norms of the world. But when I became a student, things took a peculiar turn.

I decided to stop brushing it altogether. The result? The worst dreadlocks you've ever seen. Not the sleek, purposeful kind that you might admire on a reggae artist—no, these were chaotic, matted tangles that looked more like a bird's nest than a hairstyle. I must have looked completely unhinged.

And yet, I functioned. I went about my life as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I dated, held down jobs, and navigated the world like any other adult. What amazes me to this day is that nobody ever said a word about it to my face. Not one person. Maybe they were too polite, too shocked, or simply unsure of how to approach the subject.

Chapter 14 - Half-life

While at university, we were living in a cramped but lively student house, one of those quintessential shared spaces where friendships were forged, arguments erupted over whose turn it was to clean, and late-night gaming sessions became the norm. Multiplayer gaming was our escape and our connection, a way to unwind after classes and deadlines. That shared digital escape gave me an idea—what if we could play through our own house?—I recreated our student house in a Half-Life map.

It started as a simple idea: bring our chaotic little world into the virtual one we spent so much time in. I’d sit at my desk, meticulously designing every detail with the Hammer editor, right down to the mismatched furniture in the living room, the pile of unwashed dishes in the kitchen, and the lopsided posters taped to the walls.

Chapter 13 - Kerrang!

Back in university, I had developed a newfound addiction to building websites. But with only one website project assigned throughout my entire course, I needed an outlet to channel my energy. And that’s when the idea struck me: Kerrang!

Kerrang, the iconic rock music magazine, seemed like the perfect subject for a project. So, without hesitation, I got to work and built them a website from scratch, entirely for free. It became my labour of love, my way of showing off what I could do. My plan was simple: send it to them and see if they’d actually use it.

Honestly, it looked pretty damn good for a student project—clean, fast, and bolder than most commercial music sites at the time. Yet, as is often the case, I received zero response. Nothing. It was as if the project never existed. Despite the radio silence, I took some pride in knowing I had beaten them to it. When Kerrang eventually launched their website two years later, I couldn’t help but smile — I’d gotten there first.

Chapter 12 - Apocalypse soc

When I arrived at Staffordshire University, I was just another wide-eyed student, lugging a suitcase of clothes and a head full of dreams. What I didn’t know then was that I was about to leave a legacy—something bigger than a degree, bigger than myself.

It all started with the internet. Staffordshire had this insanely fast connection, and the entire campus was wired together. For a gamer like me, it was paradise. I spent my first few nights glued to my computer, diving into the world of online gaming, feeling this incredible buzz from being part of something bigger, something interconnected. That’s when it hit me—why not take this energy and turn it into something real? Something that would bring people together in person, not just behind a screen.

Chapter 11 - University:

When I decided to go to university, I was just following the herd. It seemed like the "right" thing to do—society’s expected next step after school. But looking back, I didn’t think it through. I already had a passion for crafting magazines and was immersed in creative projects, so I picked a course that I thought would complement my interests.

From day one, it was like stepping into a museum exhibit of tech that time forgot. The software of choice? Adobe Authorware.

Yes, I know—exactly.

It was clunky, painfully dated, and no one in the real world was using it anymore. Meanwhile, I was head-over-heels in love with Macromedia Flash, the new kid on the digital block. Flash was alive—fluid, visual, interactive. Authorware? It felt like coding on a typewriter.

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