Without Russell as a catalyst, I found myself back at square one again—adrift, untethered, and uncertain of where to channel the energy that had consumed me for years. The obsession that had once fuelled me, given me purpose and a sense of destiny, was gone. And in its absence, the reality of what I had lost began to sink in.My marriage was in ruins, and I couldn’t deny that it was largely my own doing. I’d poured so much of myself into chasing signs, interpreting omens, and building a narrative around a connection that might never materialise, that I had neglected the one person who had been there for me through it all.Julia was beautiful—inside and out. She had a warmth that could light up a room and a quiet strength that I had leaned on more than I ever admitted. But even the strongest love has its limits, and I had pushed those limits too far.I’m truly sorry that I lost her. I’m sorry for the nights I wasn’t present, for the conversations I didn’t hear because my mind was somewhere...
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