Chapter 31 - The Distraction

As Holodex slowly began to take shape, it was clear the idea had potential—but potential doesn’t always pay the bills. Despite my best efforts, the page views weren’t high enough to generate significant income. Well, people just rarely pay for porn these days, so it was an uphill struggle. It felt like pushing a boulder uphill, and the weight of trying to make it all work was becoming harder to bear.

Amid this frustration, I stumbled upon an idea that seemed like a shortcut to success: PornModelHouse.com. The concept was simple but compelling—a platform showcasing all the behind-the-scenes (BTS) content I’d gathered during my time working with the industry. The material I had was raw, authentic, and intimate in a way that traditional productions could never replicate. I believed it could be a hit.

At the time, it felt like a stroke of genius. People love BTS content—it humanises the performers and gives fans a glimpse into the lives of the people they admire. I thought I could create a niche, something unique to set me apart in a sea of adult entertainment websites.

But looking back, it was a poor move.

I poured my energy into building and launching PornModelHouse.com, splitting my focus and diverting resources away from Holodex. Instead of doubling down on the platform that could have been a game-changer, I spread myself too thin, trying to make both projects work.

PornModelHouse had its moments. There was some interest, a bit of buzz, and the BTS content did resonate with a niche audience. But it didn’t take off in the way I had hoped. Worse, it took my attention away from Holodex at a critical time—a time when it desperately needed nurturing, refinement, and strategic marketing.

It was a classic case of chasing two rabbits and catching neither.

In hindsight, the lesson is painfully clear: focus is everything. Distraction, no matter how enticing it seems in the moment, can be the death knell of progress. Holodex had a solid foundation, and if I had stayed committed to it, who knows how much further it could have gone during that crucial period?

The experience taught me the value of staying the course, even when things seem slow or stagnant. Building something great takes time, patience, and undivided attention. It’s a lesson I had to learn the hard way, but one that would shape my approach to every project from that point forward.

Life in a porn mansion is as bizarre as it sounds, filled with moments that could easily be mistaken for scenes in a dark comedy. One of the best examples I can recall happened after a Christmas party. We were all laughing and tipsy, making our way back to the model house, only to find a note stuck on the door.

“Oh, Derek,” I thought, shaking my head and laughing. His notes were a thing of legend—always written in that blend of exasperation and authority. This one was no different. In bold, frustrated letters, it pleaded with the girls to please stop squirting on cam shows. He was, of course, dead serious. But did he really think a passive-aggressive note would stop this crowd?

The irony was, I understood the frustration behind it. For better or worse, I was often the guy controlling the cameras during these shows. When you’re behind the scenes, the glamor peels away quickly, leaving behind the raw chaos of pandering to hundreds of viewers, each with their own loud, explicit requests. It was a far cry from erotic—it felt more like stage management in an adult circus.

The audience would occasionally throw insults my way, calling me “gay” for being in the room but not actively participating. It always amused me—the idea that being surrounded by naked women but not joining in made me suspect. As if restraint was more unnatural than performance.

But then there were the performers, these fearless sexual dynamos who treated boundaries more like suggestions. Amy Brooke, for instance, was a legend. A sign like Derek’s was just fuel for her playful defiance. “Oh, I’m not trying to squirt everywhere,” she’d say with a grin, as she aimed deliberately, almost gleefully, like some twisted game of Whack-a-Mole—with me as the target.

We tried to manage the situation as best we could. Sheets were laid down, cleanup routines were adjusted, but Amy wasn’t deterred. She wasn’t the only one, either—many of the women I worked with had this magnetic confidence about them. They loved sex, loved performing, and brought a raw intensity to their work that was both fascinating and educational.

I learned so much from them—about boundaries, about freedom, and about embracing who you are without apology. Even when I was ducking under the camera to avoid a perfectly aimed squirt, I couldn’t help but admire their spirit.

No, it didn’t turn me on. If anything, it was a surreal lesson in humanity—messy, unapologetic, and weirdly beautiful.

People often ask me about the wildest thing I’ve seen while working in the industry. To be fair, there’s no shortage of bizarre stories, but one incident immediately comes to mind. It was a moment so outrageous, so utterly unexpected, that it still makes me shake my head in disbelief.

Enter Tory Lane. For those who don’t know, Tory is a force of nature—equal parts chaos, charisma, and pure, unfiltered audacity. One night, she was on a phone call with another couple. At first, the conversation seemed normal enough—well, as normal as it gets in that world. Then, out of nowhere, the couple on the other end of the line started going at it. I don’t mean suggestive comments or a little flirtation. I mean full-on, unabashed sex right there over the phone.

Most people would’ve just listened, maybe cracked a joke, or even ended the call. But not Tory. Tory decided to participate. And when I say participate, I mean she didn’t just escalate things verbally—oh no. She took the entire phone and, in a move that defies both logic and anatomy, inserted it right into herself.

I stood there, stunned, a mix of disbelief and, dare I say it, admiration. I mean, how do you even react to something like that? One part of me thought, “What the hell am I witnessing right now?” and the other part just nodded internally, impressed by her sheer commitment to the bit.

Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to look away, and part of me wondered how much longer I could keep living in this world without losing something of myself.

It was one of those moments that perfectly sums up the unpredictability of the industry. It’s raw, it’s crazy, and sometimes, it’s downright hilarious. But more than anything, it’s a reminder that no matter how long you’ve been around, there’s always something new waiting to shock you.

Even then, as I tried to juggle Holodex and PornModelHouse, it felt like I wasn’t building an empire—I was just another act in someone else’s circus. And somewhere, in the chaos, Holodex waited—neglected but not forgotten. I just hadn’t realized yet how long it would take to find my way back to it.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Chapter 10 - Menage: A Story of Love, Loss, and Chosen Family

Growing up in a ménage à trois wasn’t just some outlandish experience; it was the foundation of my worldview. I didn’t see it as unusual. It was my norm, my reality. My mother’s love was abundant and multi-faceted, and her partners were as much a part of our family as anyone. There was no jealousy, no animosity, no hidden resentments. Just an open space of care and understanding. To me, it seemed like the perfect kind of family.

But when my non-biological father, the one who was the more traditional figure in my life, asked her to make a choice, it was like watching the house of cards fall. And when she chose him, it was a kind of heartbreaking affirmation that the world outside didn’t understand, or maybe even accept, the way we had lived.

I was 17 at the time—old enough to understand the emotional gravity of the situation but still young enough to feel betrayed by the change. In a way, my mom’s decision represented the same pull the world outside had over me: the world was dictating what was acceptable, and now I had to learn how to adjust to that.

Chapter 9 - Luck child

When I was young, someone once called me a “luck child.” I didn’t understand it at the time, and to be honest, I’m not sure I still fully do. It was one of those phrases that just stuck with me, like a little puzzle that I couldn’t quite solve. I often wondered if it was a compliment or something else entirely, but I couldn’t shake it.

As I grew older, the phrase kept circling in my mind, a strange kind of whisper that never quite faded. There were times when I felt like the universe had it out for me, but then there were these odd moments—random moments—where everything just fell into place. It wasn’t like I was living a charmed life or anything. There were struggles, plenty of them. But even in the midst of hardship, I seemed to find myself in situations that felt... well, a little too perfect.

Chapter 8 - A Sick Nod from the Universe

Music has always been the soundtrack to my life. From the moment I first pressed play on a cassette player, it was like opening a door to a whole new dimension. Growing up, Nirvana was the band for me—a raw, unapologetic voice that spoke to the angsty teenager I was. So, when my parents surprised me with tickets to see Nirvana on their upcoming April 12th show in Cardiff, I was ecstatic. I remember jumping around the room, disbelief and excitement colliding in a way only a teenager can feel.

But then, life, in its cruel and ironic way, decided to intervene. On my birthday—just days before the concert—I woke up to the news that Kurt Cobain took his own life. The tickets, once a symbol of my teenage dreams, became a bitter reminder of his tragic end. What were the odds? My birthday wasn’t just ruined; it felt tainted.

I chalked it up to an eerie coincidence. Until it happened again.

Chapter 7 - A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue

At the time, Duke Nukem 3D was the game, a chaotic, over-the-top playground of action and humour. But for me, playing wasn’t enough—I wanted to create.

One day, the idea struck me: what if I turned my school into a map for Duke Nukem? I’ll admit, it was a bold and slightly mischievous idea, but the thought of navigating those familiar halls with explosions and alien mayhem was too tempting to pass up.

So, I set to work. Piece by piece, I painstakingly recreated the corridors, classrooms, and assembly halls of Brynteg Avenue with every detail I could remember. It wasn’t just a map—it was an immersive experience, a twisted reimagining of school life that turned ordinary routines into an action-packed nightmare. Hence, A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue was born.

Chapter 6 - Hostile Hits the Halls

Before I knew it, Hostile Magazine was more than just a personal project. It became something bigger—a product. I started distributing copies around school, and before long, it wasn’t just my classmates reading it. I managed to sell advertising space to local businesses, earning a bit of cash in the process.

Looking back, it might have been my most lucrative venture to date, especially considering how naturally it all came together. I wasn’t just creating anymore—I was running a business, even if I didn’t fully realise it at the time.

One of my proudest moments was designing full-colour posters to promote the magazine. They featured a bold image of a gun and some edgy, provocative slogan. At the time, I thought it was clever—half-witty, half-menacing, exactly the kind of provocation Hostile was built on. But in hindsight, it felt careless.

Chapter 5 - Hostile Beginnings

By the time I was 15, everything changed—I had a computer. No more typewriters or scavenging old magazines for pictures. With a keyboard and the infinite possibilities of digital design at my fingertips, I was unstoppable.

That’s when I founded Hostile Magazine. The name wasn’t just a catchy title—it was a declaration of who I was at the time. I was hostile to the world around me, to the endless doubt and disbelief I’d faced growing up. Most of all, I was still furious that no one seemed to believe in aliens yet.

Hostile was my rebellion. It wasn’t just about aliens, though they made frequent appearances in my articles and artwork. It was a place where I could channel my anger, my creativity, and my growing discontent with a world that felt so small-minded.

Chapter 4 - God Mode Philosophy

When I was 15, I discovered something that would blow my creative obsession wide open: Quake. It wasn’t just a game; it was a canvas for chaos, and I had a paintbrush made of code.

I started messing around with the game, diving into its files and hacking it to bits. Before long, I’d customised everything—the characters, the levels, even the dialogue. My friends and I turned death matches into full-blown comedy routines, battling against avatars we’d created to represent ourselves, complete with all our ridiculous trademark sayings.

Imagine a grim, post-apocalyptic battlefield echoing with smack talk like, “Oi, pass me the ketchup!” or “You’re going down faster than last night’s curry!” It was absolutely hilarious. Every frag was met with roaring laughter, not just because someone lost but because the game would scream out some absurd catchphrase we’d forgotten we’d even programmed.

Chapter 3 - Beyond Addicted

I was hooked. The day after The Brackla Tattler launched, I decided I couldn’t stop there. Why wait for a competition when I could make my own newspaper? I got straight to work, fuelled by the rush of creating something from nothing.

This time, the front-page story was even bigger—or at least, it felt that way to me: “Riot at Strangeways Prison!” I was 11 years old, covering prison riots like a seasoned journalist.

Back then, I didn’t even have a computer. I was using my mum’s old typewriter for the text—each clack of the keys a declaration of my ambition. For the visuals, I raided stacks of old magazines, cutting out pictures and headlines to make elaborate collages. My bedroom floor became a sea of scraps, glue sticks, and ink-stained fingers.

I was beyond addicted. There was something magical about piecing it all together, watching a blank page transform into a story people could hold, read, and react to. The process consumed me in the best way.

Chapter 2 - Breaking News

By the time I was 11, I was part of a global competition to create a school newspaper. And thus, The Brackla Tattler was born—a journalistic masterpiece (or so we thought) with a name that suggested the kind of scandal and intrigue we were determined to uncover.

The inaugural issue had a front-page story so wild it could’ve been straight out of a crime thriller. The headline? “Body Parts Found in Bags Across City!”

It was gruesome, sensational, and absolutely perfect for the tone we were going for—true crime meets small-town gossip. I still remember writing it, trying to balance shock value with just enough professionalism to impress the judges.

Even though we were just kids with big dreams and bigger imaginations, that story gave The Brackla Tattler its identity. We weren’t afraid to tackle the dark stuff, even if we barely understood it ourselves.

Chapter 1 - The Alien Among Us

When I first woke up, I was in Bridgend, South Wales—a quiet, unassuming place where nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen. But even as a kid, I was obsessed with two things: aliens and making magazines.

The alien obsession stemmed from my first truly traumatising memory. I was walking home from school one day with a friend, chatting about whatever kids chat about, when they casually dropped a bombshell: "Aliens are already on Earth, hiding in human bodies."

I swear on my life, I saw one shortly after that. I can still picture it—something inhuman beneath a very human façade. My stomach turned, my heart raced, and from that moment, the world didn’t feel safe anymore. I was terrified.

For months, I couldn’t sleep. Every shadow was suspicious, every sound proof of some otherworldly presence. But when I tried to tell people, nobody believed me. My classmates thought I was crazy. The more I insisted, the harder they laughed. Even my parents decided it was all in my head.

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